The Downside of Being a High Achiever: Navigating the Ever-Moving Goal Posts

As a high-performance mindset coach, I have had the privilege of working with and observing high achievers in various fields. From business executives to athletes, I have noticed a common trait among them – their future-oriented mindset. 

Having a future-orientated mindset makes it possible to withstand the pull of instant or immediate gratification – this ‘sacrificing’ of the present for a more desirable future state is arguably what high achievement is built on. 

However, there is a truth that all high achievers wrestle with as a result of focusing on the future. In the following article, I will be exploring the downside to focusing on the future and how to navigate it.  

A pitfall of being future-orientated is that this focus on the future can come at the expense of recognizing the beautify of the present moment. 

You see, high achievers have the tendency to constantly chase the next goal without fully appreciating and enjoying the current moment. The pursuit of success can become a never-ending cycle, where achieving one goal simply leads to setting another, and the goal posts keep moving further ahead. This can result in a perpetual state of striving and dissatisfaction, as high achievers may find it challenging to fully celebrate their wins and be present in the moment before moving on to the next challenge. 

I had recently had a session with a client who after reflecting on how much she has grown and achieved in the last year of working with me, realised that she had not been celebrating herself enough for all the work that she has been putting in behind closed doors. 

I told her that the main reason many high achievers go through this is because they feel like they have not yet arrived at their desired future, the vision that they have for their lives. So even though they are making huge strides towards this vision, they feel like that the strides are not worth celebrating. This is a ‘flawed’ perspective, one that I previously fell victim to. I then used the following analogy to illustrate my point; imagine that you are taking a one-way train trip to the destination of your dreams but along the way you pass some of the most magical views that you will ever get to see – do you peek out of the window and enjoy the views, or will you be so focused on reaching your destination that you do not allow yourself to enjoy the views and by extension, the journey? 

As high achievers it is necessary to be aware of the ever-moving goal posts, because though this can result in higher levels of achievement, it can also result in a perpetual cycle of setting new goals with a lack of appreciation and even fulfilment of the present moment.

As a result of this obsessive focus on the future and lack of appreciation of the present, many high achievers find themselves struggling to maintain meaningful relationships, including marriages and friendships, as their relentless pursuit of success can consume their time and energy. They may prioritize their goals above all else, including their personal connections, leading to neglect and strain in their relationships. This can result in missed opportunities for connection, intimacy, and happiness in the present moment.

Famous examples abound of high achievers who have experienced challenges in their personal relationships due to their relentless pursuit of success. For instance, entrepreneur and social media influencer Gary Vaynerchuk, also known as GaryVee, recently shared his experience of going through a divorce, acknowledging that his laser focus on his business goals had impacted his personal life. Similar examples can be found among celebrities, athletes, and business moguls, who have achieved great success in their careers but have faced difficulties in their personal relationships.

As a high-performance mindset coach, my role is to help high achievers navigate the pros and cons of their mindset and approach to goal-setting. Here are 3 strategies that I often recommend to my clients:

1. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, without judgment or attachment to the past or future. Encouraging high achievers to practice mindfulness can help cultivate a deeper appreciation for the present moment, including their achievements and the people around them. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation, breathing exercises, and grounding exercises can help high achievers develop the skill of being present and letting go of the need to constantly chase the next goal.

I usually encourage my clients to create time for a mindfulness activity daily. Doing this allows them to let go of everything else and hone into the present moment. Initially many of my clients are hesitant because they do not see how sitting and watching the sunrise or listening to the sound of the birds can help them achieve their goals, but once they experience the peace that comes with it, many of them make this a regular part of their routine.  

2. Set meaningful and balanced goals

While setting goals is an essential aspect of high achievement, it's important to set goals that are meaningful and aligned with one's values. High achievers should reflect on their true priorities and strive for a balance between their personal and professional aspirations. This includes setting goals not only in their career but also in their relationships, health, well-being, and personal growth. Creating a holistic and well-rounded vision for the future can help us avoid solely chasing external success while neglecting other important aspects of life. One way that has helped my clients with this is to not see their career aspirations as the only important goals, but to see how it fits into a broader view or vision of their life that is interconnected to health, spirituality, relationships aspirations and so forth.

3. Celebrate and appreciate achievements

As high achievers it is easy to downplay our accomplishments and quickly move on to the next goal. It's important to take the time to celebrate and appreciate their achievements, big or small. This can include acknowledging their hard work, recognizing their progress, and expressing gratitude for their accomplishments. Celebrating achievements can help us high achievers cultivate a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction in the present moment, rather than constantly seeking validation from future goals. 

One way I encourage my clients to do this is to not measure their accomplishment through the lens of how far they still have to go before reaching their vision, but to instead measure the accomplishment through the lens of how far they have come – the progress made. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, being a high achiever comes with its pros and cons. While the drive, motivation, and goal-setting abilities of high achievers can lead to success, they may also face challenges in balancing the present with the future and maintaining meaningful relationships. As a high-performance mindset coach, my aim is to help high achievers develop a more balanced approach to goal-setting. By doing so, high achievers can not only achieve their goals but also cultivate a sense of fulfilment, well-being, and happiness in the present moment, while still striving for their desired future.